Divorce - Walk By Sight

# Justified Grounds for Divorce ## **1. Sexual Immorality** Jesus gives one explicit exception for divorce: **sexual immorality** (Matt 5:32; 19:9). - Sexual immorality (_porneia_) is broader than adultery (_moicheia_) and can include adultery, incest, bestiality, and other sexual sins (cf. 1 Cor 5:1). - God Himself uses a “decree of divorce” against Israel for covenant-breaking adultery (Jer 3:6–10), showing divorce is not inherently immoral. ## **2. Abandonment by an Unbeliever** - Paul allows divorce when an **unbelieving spouse leaves** and refuses to stay in the marriage (1 Cor 7:12–15). - The believer is **“not bound”** and free to let the separation occur—and free to remarry. - Paul notes Jesus didn’t address this scenario, showing additional exceptions can exist. ### **Unrepentant Sin by a Professing Believer (treated as an Unbeliever)** Built on the principles of **church discipline** (Matt 18:15–17) and **covenant responsibility**. - If a spouse commits serious sin (abandonment, persistent abuse, or actions causing radical danger) and **refuses all repentance** which is essential among believers (Ephesians 4:31-32), At that point, the church may classify them as an **unbeliever** (Matt 18:17). The innocent spouse is freed under the same principle as 1 Cor 7:15 (“not enslaved”). - A person who destroys or refuses to care for their family is considered “worse than an unbeliever” (1 Tim 5:8). **Extreme abuse** can function as **abandonment by proxy**, since the harmful spouse effectively drives the other away. Jesus repeatedly affirms that **human life and safety take priority** over rigid legalism: - David eating the showbread (Matt 12:3–4). - Rescuing a sheep on the Sabbath (Matt 12:11–12). - Jesus’ statement: “I desire mercy, not sacrifice.” (Matt 12:7) demonstrating a principle that ceremonial rules must yield to human needs - More principles can be read at **Exodus 21:10-11**, **Matthew 12:3, 5–7, 11–12** # **Unjustified Grounds** Divorce is **not** biblically justified for reasons such as unhappiness, bitterness, attraction to someone else, or refusal to forgive. Jesus directly rejected the “**any reason**” divorce of His day (Matt 19:3), explaining that Moses only permitted divorce because of **hard hearts** (Matt 19:8). Hardness of heart is usually the **cause** of divorce—not a valid **reason** for it. Most divorces fall into this category and are morally wrong. ## **General Rule An unjustified divorce is still **real**, but Scripture teaches that reconciliation remains the moral duty unless a later event changes the situation (1 Cor 7:10–11). - The general rule is that reconciliation is to be sought (**1 Corinthians 7:11**). The spouse who left without biblical grounds must **remain unmarried or be reconciled** (1 Cor 7:11). In addition to the above point, this obligation also ends if: 1. **The Former Spouse Remarries**: Remarriage is called adulterous (Matt 19:9; Luke 16:18), but it **legally and morally ends** the first marriage. Deut 24:1–4 forbids returning to a former spouse after remarriage, confirming the second marriage is real. The innocent spouse is then released from all obligation to restore the original marriage. ### Old Testament | Scripture Reference | Supporting Sources | Context/Key Concept | | :---------------------------- | :----------------- | :--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | | **Amos 7:17** | | Used in context discussing the meaning of _porneia_ (sexual immorality). | | **Deuteronomy 24** | | The major text debated by the Pharisees regarding grounds for divorce. Discusses certificates of divorce, remarriage, and the prohibition against returning to the first husband. | | **Deuteronomy 24:1-4** | | Discusses the law governing divorce, remarriage, and the prohibition on a woman returning to her first husband after remarrying. Mentions the cause for divorce being "some indecency in her". Reference to the divorced woman marrying another man. Reference to the prohibition on a divorced woman returning to her first husband. | | **Exodus 21:10-11** | | Used by some scholars (like David Instone-Brewer) to argue for grounds for divorce beyond sexual immorality (such as lack of food, clothing, or marital rights). | | **Exodus 22:16-17** | | Mentions a man who seduces an unbetrothed virgin must marry her, highlighting that sex and marriage are separate things. Passage concerning seduction of an unbetrothed virgin and the requirement of marriage or payment. | | **Exodus 22:17** | | Highlights that the father can refuse the marriage even after the two have slept together. | | **Ezekiel** | | Referenced regarding the command to eat unclean food, serving as an exception to a general rule. | | **Ezekiel 16:23** | | Used in context discussing the meaning of _porneia_ (sexual immorality). | | **Genesis 1 and 5** | | Jesus refers to this context (Genesis 1:27, 5:2) to establish the heart of marriage as God’s design. Used by Jesus concerning God creating them male and female. | | **Genesis 2:24** | | Cited as the explanation of why a man leaves his parents and is joined to his wife, becoming "one flesh". This union applies to both marriage and sexual relationships outside of marriage. | | **Genesis 5:2** | | Used by Jesus when speaking about God creating male and female. | | **Genesis 24** | | The account of Isaac and Rebecca's marriage, showing negotiation and public commitment. | | **Hosea** (Book of) | | The book is used as an example of God’s patience and desire for restoration after infidelity, pictured through Hosea and his wife. | | **Hosea 2:3-5** | | Used in context discussing the meaning of _porneia_ (sexual immorality). | | **Isaiah 50:1** | | God speaks of sending Israel away with a "certificate of divorce". | | **Jeremiah** (Book of) | | Cited repeatedly as an example where **God divorced Israel** (the Northern Kingdom), thus refuting the position that divorce is impossible or always morally wrong. | | **Jeremiah 3:2-13** | | Used in context discussing the meaning of _porneia_ (sexual immorality). God speaks of divorcing Israel with a "decree of divorce" after her adulteries. God conditions the rejoining of Israel upon their acknowledgement of guilt and repentance. | | **Joshua 9** | | Cited concerning Joshua making a wrongful treaty with the Gibeonites but being required to honor it, illustrating that covenants, even if entered sinfully, must be kept. | | **Leviticus 18** | | Referenced regarding restrictions on marriage between relatives (incest). | | **Leviticus 20:10** | | Discusses the death penalty under the Law for adultery. | | **Leviticus 21:7-15** | | Regulations forbidding priests and high priests from marrying divorced women, implying that non-priestly Israelites were permitted to marry them. | | **Malachi 2:16** | | Often quoted as "God hates divorce," though the meaning in the Hebrew may refer to the husband hating and divorcing his wife (unjustified divorce). | | **Song of Solomon** (Book of) | | Cited as evidence that sexual desire for one's spouse is proper and good. | ### New Testament | Scripture Reference | Supporting Sources | Context/Key Concept | | | | :----------------------- | :----------------- | :-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | ------------------ | ------------------- | | **Acts 7** | | Referenced concerning Stephen's death by mob violence, contrasting with legal executions. | | | | **Colossians 2:21-23** | | Paul warns against ascetic teachings that devalue marriage. | | | | **1 Corinthians 5:1** | | Cited where Paul discusses incest as a form of _porneia_ (sexual immorality). | | | | **1 Corinthians 6:16** | | Shows that being "joined to a prostitute" creates a union, though not a godly marriage. | | | | **1 Corinthians 7:3-40** | | Discusses conjugal rights within marriage. Paul recommends singleness to the unmarried and widows. Paul's charge (from the Lord) that the wife should not separate from her husband. If a wife does separate, she should remain unmarried or be reconciled. Paul begins giving instruction "not I, but the Lord" regarding mixed marriages. The **Abandonment Exception**: If an unbelieving partner separates, the believing spouse "is not enslaved" (not bound). Discusses being "bound to a wife" or "free from a wife". Paul says if a person marries, they have not sinned. States a wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives, but if he dies, she is free to marry another. Paul's judgment that the widow is happier if she remains single. | | | | **Ephesians 4:30-32** | | Instructs believers not to grieve the Spirit of God. Command to forgive one another "as God in Christ forgave you," which implies forgiveness is conditional upon repentance. | | | | **John 4** | | The account of Jesus and the Samaritan woman at the well, affirming that she had "five husbands" and the man she was currently with "is not your husband". Jesus confirms the woman at the well is not married to the man she is currently sleeping with, proving sex does not equal marriage. | | | | **John 8** | | The account of the woman caught in adultery, used to illustrate that Jewish leaders could not legally enforce the death penalty under Roman rule. | | | | **Jude 7** | | Used in context discussing the meaning of _porneia_ (sexual immorality). | | | | **Luke 4:28-30** | | Referenced regarding the mob violence where people tried to kill Jesus. Jesus instructs that disciples must "hate" their family members (choose Him over them), serving as an exception to the general rule of honoring parents. | | | | **Luke 16:18** | | Jesus states that anyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery. | | | | **Luke 18:20** | | Jesus quotes the commandment to "Honor your father and mother". | | | | **Matthew 5** | | Context for Jesus's teachings on lust, anger, and divorce, demonstrating that Jesus's unqualified statements often carry implied exceptions. Jesus forbids calling anyone "fool," a rule Jesus himself later breaks when addressing the Pharisees. Jesus states that lusting after a woman constitutes adultery in the heart, a general principle which is not intended to apply to marriage. Jesus provides the exception clause: divorcing a wife, "except on the ground of sexual immorality" (_porneia_). | | | | **Matthew 10:23** | | Instructs fleeing persecution, contrasting with the general command to turn the other cheek. | | | | **Matthew 12** | | Cited regarding Jesus defending violations of the Sabbath law for the sake of human well-being or saving life. Jesus references David eating the showbread, providing an example of human need trumping a ceremonial rule. Jesus references priests working on the Sabbath and being "guiltless". Jesus explains the principle of God desiring "mercy and not sacrifice" to justify exceptions to the Sabbath rule. Jesus asks if one would rescue a sheep on the Sabbath, justifying doing good (like healing) on the Sabbath. | | | | **Matthew 15:19** | | Cited regarding Jesus using both _adultery_ and _sexual immorality_ (porneia) in a list of sins. | | | | **Matthew 18** | | Contains the steps for church discipline, where a sinning believer who refuses to repent is to be treated "as a Gentile and a tax collector" (an unbeliever). Step 1 of discipline: addressing the sin privately.Step 2 of discipline: taking one or two others as witnesses. Step 3 of discipline: telling it to the church; if refusal continues, treating them as an unbeliever. | | | | **Matthew 19** | | Context of the Pharisees testing Jesus regarding the grounds for divorce. Pharisees ask if it is lawful to divorce one's wife "for any cause," reflecting the liberal Hillel view. Jesus refers them back to the creation mandate in Genesis. Jesus explains Moses allowed divorce because of the "hardness of your hearts". Jesus provides the divorce exception clause and connects unjustified divorce and remarriage to adultery. Disciples respond to Jesus's strict teaching by saying it is better not to marry.Passage where Jesus discusses singleness for the sake of the kingdom. | | | | **Matthew 23:17** | | Jesus calls the Pharisees "blind fools," demonstrating an exception to his earlier rule in Matthew 5:22. | | | | **Mark 10** | | Jesus's teaching on divorce, set against the backdrop of Jewish debate. Pharisees ask Jesus if it is lawful for a man to divorce his wife. The Pharisees mention Moses allowing a "bill of divorce". Jesus states: "What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate". Disciples question Jesus privately about divorce. Jesus states that whoever divorces and marries another commits adultery against her. Jesus applies the same rule if a woman divorces her husband and marries another. | | | | **1 Peter 5** | | Peter identifies himself as a "fellow elder". | | | | **1 Timothy 3:2-12** | | Requirement for an overseer/elder to be the "husband of one wife". Requirement that the leader must manage his household well and keep his children submissive. Requirement for deacons to be the "husband of one wife". | | | | **1 Timothy 4:3** | | Paul warns about false teaching that "forbid[s] marriage". | | | | **1 Timothy 5:8-9** | | States that anyone who fails to provide for his relatives/household has "denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever". Qualifications for widows enrolled in the church list, including having been the "wife of one husband". | | | | **Titus 1:6** | | Requirement for leaders to be "above reproach, the husband of one wife". | | | | **Romans 7** | | Used to argue that marriage is broken only by death; argued by some to be merely an analogy about death to the law. States a married woman is bound to her husband "while he lives". Defines a woman marrying another while her husband is alive as adultery. Explains the analogy that believers have died to the Law through Christ's body. | | | | **Romans 11** | | Referenced regarding God forgiving Israel, which is conditioned on their repentance. | | | | **Ephesians 5** | | Used to illustrate that marriage is a picture of Christ and the church, and regarding Jerome translating marriage as a "sacrament". | Supporting Sources | Context/Key Concept | | **Acts 7** | | Referenced concerning Stephen's death by mob violence, contrasting with legal executions. | | | | **Colossians 2:21-23** | | Paul warns against ascetic teachings that devalue marriage. | | | | **1 Corinthians 5:1** | | Cited where Paul discusses incest as a form of _porneia_ (sexual immorality). | | | | **1 Corinthians 6:16** | | Shows that being "joined to a prostitute" creates a union, though not a godly marriage. | | | | **1 Corinthians 7:3-40** | | Discusses conjugal rights within marriage. Paul recommends singleness to the unmarried and widows. Paul's charge (from the Lord) that the wife should not separate from her husband. If a wife does separate, she should remain unmarried or be reconciled. Paul begins giving instruction "not I, but the Lord" regarding mixed marriages. The **Abandonment Exception**: If an unbelieving partner separates, the believing spouse "is not enslaved" (not bound). Discusses being "bound to a wife" or "free from a wife". Paul says if a person marries, they have not sinned. States a wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives, but if he dies, she is free to marry another. Paul's judgment that the widow is happier if she remains single. | | | | **Ephesians 4:30-32** | | Instructs believers not to grieve the Spirit of God. Command to forgive one another "as God in Christ forgave you," which implies forgiveness is conditional upon repentance. | | | | **John 4** | | The account of Jesus and the Samaritan woman at the well, affirming that she had "five husbands" and the man she was currently with "is not your husband". Jesus confirms the woman at the well is not married to the man she is currently sleeping with, proving sex does not equal marriage. | | | | **John 8** | | The account of the woman caught in adultery, used to illustrate that Jewish leaders could not legally enforce the death penalty under Roman rule. | | | | **Jude 7** | | Used in context discussing the meaning of _porneia_ (sexual immorality). | | | | **Luke 4:28-30** | | Referenced regarding the mob violence where people tried to kill Jesus. Jesus instructs that disciples must "hate" their family members (choose Him over them), serving as an exception to the general rule of honoring parents. | | | | **Luke 16:18** | | Jesus states that anyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery. | | | | **Luke 18:20** | | Jesus quotes the commandment to "Honor your father and mother". | | | | **Matthew 5** | | Context for Jesus's teachings on lust, anger, and divorce, demonstrating that Jesus's unqualified statements often carry implied exceptions. Jesus forbids calling anyone "fool," a rule Jesus himself later breaks when addressing the Pharisees. Jesus states that lusting after a woman constitutes adultery in the heart, a general principle which is not intended to apply to marriage. Jesus provides the exception clause: divorcing a wife, "except on the ground of sexual immorality" (_porneia_). | | | | **Matthew 10:23** | | Instructs fleeing persecution, contrasting with the general command to turn the other cheek. | | | | **Matthew 12** | | Cited regarding Jesus defending violations of the Sabbath law for the sake of human well-being or saving life. Jesus references David eating the showbread, providing an example of human need trumping a ceremonial rule. Jesus references priests working on the Sabbath and being "guiltless". Jesus explains the principle of God desiring "mercy and not sacrifice" to justify exceptions to the Sabbath rule. Jesus asks if one would rescue a sheep on the Sabbath, justifying doing good (like healing) on the Sabbath. | | | | **Matthew 15:19** | | Cited regarding Jesus using both _adultery_ and _sexual immorality_ (porneia) in a list of sins. | | | | **Matthew 18** | | Contains the steps for church discipline, where a sinning believer who refuses to repent is to be treated "as a Gentile and a tax collector" (an unbeliever). Step 1 of discipline: addressing the sin privately.Step 2 of discipline: taking one or two others as witnesses. Step 3 of discipline: telling it to the church; if refusal continues, treating them as an unbeliever. | | | | **Matthew 19** | | Context of the Pharisees testing Jesus regarding the grounds for divorce. Pharisees ask if it is lawful to divorce one's wife "for any cause," reflecting the liberal Hillel view. Jesus refers them back to the creation mandate in Genesis. Jesus explains Moses allowed divorce because of the "hardness of your hearts". Jesus provides the divorce exception clause and connects unjustified divorce and remarriage to adultery. Disciples respond to Jesus's strict teaching by saying it is better not to marry.Passage where Jesus discusses singleness for the sake of the kingdom. | | | | **Matthew 23:17** | | Jesus calls the Pharisees "blind fools," demonstrating an exception to his earlier rule in Matthew 5:22. | | | | **Mark 10** | | Jesus's teaching on divorce, set against the backdrop of Jewish debate. Pharisees ask Jesus if it is lawful for a man to divorce his wife. The Pharisees mention Moses allowing a "bill of divorce". Jesus states: "What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate". Disciples question Jesus privately about divorce. Jesus states that whoever divorces and marries another commits adultery against her. Jesus applies the same rule if a woman divorces her husband and marries another. | | | | **1 Peter 5** | | Peter identifies himself as a "fellow elder". | | | | **1 Timothy 3:2-12** | | Requirement for an overseer/elder to be the "husband of one wife". Requirement that the leader must manage his household well and keep his children submissive. Requirement for deacons to be the "husband of one wife". | | | | **1 Timothy 4:3** | | Paul warns about false teaching that "forbid[s] marriage". | | | | **1 Timothy 5:8-9** | | States that anyone who fails to provide for his relatives/household has "denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever". Qualifications for widows enrolled in the church list, including having been the "wife of one husband". | | | | **Titus 1:6** | | Requirement for leaders to be "above reproach, the husband of one wife". | | | | **Romans 7** | | Used to argue that marriage is broken only by death; argued by some to be merely an analogy about death to the law. States a married woman is bound to her husband "while he lives". Defines a woman marrying another while her husband is alive as adultery. Explains the analogy that believers have died to the Law through Christ's body. | | | | **Romans 11** | | Referenced regarding God forgiving Israel, which is conditioned on their repentance. | | |